I was divorced in my late 20's, and I was a new to that experience. It turns out that a lot of other people were divorcing in the late 1970's, too.
This was long before the Internet and on-line dating sites...
Singles, ConnectingIn the middle of America, in the 1970's there was a rising number of divorced adults. I was in northern Louisiana when this happened to me (the first time).
Fortunately, "singles ministries" were very much in vogue among all the churches at that time.
They would open their doors one night a week for the unmarried adults in their congregations. Some opened their kitchens and provided a meal.
In my area, one church had a singles bible study; another church had singles volleyball in their gym. Several church singles groups had speakers that addressed issues for formerly married adults.
As I look back to this time, some 40 years ago for me, I recognize several challenges;
- Divorce numbers were rising across the country, in the community, and more importantly, in the individual churches
- These newly single adults still needed the support of each other and a place to gather.
- I was one of them.
Many of the women with whom I talked were wrapping their head about being single. Often I would be regaled by stories of "how well" they're doing adjusting or how they are "so over" what happened.
I would challenge them by telling a story about "washing dishes."
I've been washing dishes since before my teen-age years.
I've learned how to be efficient. I was the glasses first, then the plates and forks and spoons. Finally, I wash the pots and pans. I rinse quickly, then stack on the drainer. Even today, this is faster than loading the dishwasher. Sometimes I don't mind and sometimes I hurry through as quickly as I can.
But why is that important? It's important because no one considers it an interesting topic for discussion. Unless you're teaching your children, it's booorrrring...
Everyone has been doing lots of dishes over the years, and I'm sure you have too.
You will have truly gotten over, and doing well, when that part of your life fades into the category of washing dishes. It happened to you. It happened to others. It's a boring topic only because it's so common.
I had started writing this in 2017, but only made it visible on my blog in 2019.